Lady Catherine de Bourgh's formal table: Pride and Prejudice 2005
When dinner is announced, the mistress of the house requests the lady first in rank, in company, to shew the way to the rest, and walk first into the room where the table is served; she then asks the second in precedience to follow, and after all the ladies are passed, she brings up the rear herself. The master of the house does the same with the gentlemen. Among the persons of real distinction, this marhalling of the company is unnecessary, every woman and every man present knows his rank and precedence, and takes the lead, without any direction from the mistress or the master.
When they enter the dining-room, each takes his place in the same order; the mistress of the table sits at the upper-end, those of superior rank next [to] her, right and left, those next in rank following, the gentlemen, and the master at the lower-end; and nothing is considered as a greater mark of ill-breeding, than for a person to interrup this order, or seat himself higher than he ought. – John Trusler, 1791
The Bennets seated at table en famille, with the two oldest daughters next to their father at the head of the table. Mrs. Bennet sits at the lower end. Pride and Prejudice 1995
As the eldest daughter, Jane and Elizabeth sat nearest their father during family meals, with Jane to his right. When Lydia returns as Mrs. Wickham, she unceremoniously bumps Jane to a position towards the middle of the table, for her married state gave her a higher rank than her eldest sister:
Elizabeth could bear it no longer. She got up and ran out of the room; and returned no more till she heard them passing through the hall to the dining parlour. She then joined them soon enough to see Lydia, with anxious parade, walk up to her mother’s right hand, and hear her say to her eldest sister, ‘Ah, Jane I take your place now, and you must go lower, because I am a married woman.’ – Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Sumptuous dining table at Castle Howard. Image @Tony Grant
As hostess at her father's table, young Emma Woodhouse sat opposite her father at the upper end of the table. The ladies sit next to Mr. Woodhouse in hierarchy. As in the description by John Trusler, the gentlemen are seated nearest Emma's end of the table.
Emma Woodhouse (Kate Beckinsale)
Custom, however, has lately introduced a new mode of seating. A gentleman and a lady fitting alternately round the table, and this, for the better convenience of a lady’s being attended to, and served by the gentleman next to her. But notwithstanding this promiscuous seating, the ladies, whether above or below, are to be served in order, according to their rank or age, and after them the gentlemen, in the same manner. – John Trusler, p 6
Other posts on this blog:
Click on image.
Vic, I have since early childhood loved reading about etiquette (and I write about it frequently as well). Regency manners are particularly amusing to me! If I had to worry about directing my guests to the table in the proper order, I don’t think I could muster up the energy to give a dinner party!
Wonderful post. I remember in one of my favorite movies, Gosford Park, that the visiting servants sat in the same order of preference of their masters and were called by their master’s names, not by their own. Also learned that the aristocracy were never served at breakfast – bad form. They actually would get their own food from the buffet. Poor dears.
I’m a fan of Gosford Park too and loved getting the whole upstairs/downstairs view – the conduct of the servants (as you’ve mentioned) especially. So strange and foreign to us.
I have seen accounts where at first the men and women sat on different sides of the table. They didn’t worry about having even numbers of men and women. Some people didn’t like it when hostesses started inviting equal numbers of men and women. They thought it interfered with inviting people who were interesting or of importance in politics or whatever. Of course, Lady Holland rarely had equal number of men and women as many women didn’t visit her.
Informal meals allowed people to sit wherever they wished.
Jane Austen mentions seating a couple of times. She is also one of the authorities of giving married sisters precedence over the others or of giving the new bride precedence for a period of time.
Also it is in Austen’s works that we read about precedence at meals. Elizabeth Elliot followed Lady Russell in and out of rooms. Mary Musgrove was considered rude and vain for insisting on taking precedence over her mother-in-law.
Perfect timing. I’ve been puzzling out a seating order and this helps. Thank you Vic for puzzling out books like “The Honours of the Table.”
It also makes me wonder how religiously these customs were observed. After all, if Lady Catherine de Bourgh says you will sit in this order, then you sat in that order, whether it obeys or breaks with custom.
And to reference Nancy’s comment, if you’re being seated by Mrs. Jennings, I imagine she would place people in whatever order she thought would most promote the feast of reason and the flow of soul. And would the tradesman’s wife elevated to a baronet’s wife necessarily know these things, or is it instinctive in the English genome?
All references I have read about the food, is that after the soup and fish were removed and replaced by other dishes, all dishes for that course were on the table. There could be more than two dozen dishes on a large table. People served themselves from what wa sin their section of the table, though a servant could bring a dish from the other end if required.
However, I doubt if this was the way people ate in every house in the country.
How did the custom suddenly change from men on one side and women on the other to alternate seating? All weren’t happy with it at the time, yet within ten years most people in society thought it the correct way to do things.
Even in the Regency,some families changed to Russian service of having individual dishes carried around by servants, but the history of dining say that such service wasn’t generally adopted until late in the century.
Most histories of meals speak of people drinking tea or chocolate and eating bread for breakfast but JA mentions at least one occasion when the men had pork chops for breakfast. Was that because the men were traveling? Also have heard of heartier breakfasts before the hunt.
Very little clarity about the Regency style, But even if there were, it is doubtful that all would have followed it.
As to know where people sat: that was why people had butlers and social secretaries. Otherwise, one needed a current copy of Debrett and a chart showing when each peers title was first created.
If you have three earls to dine the precedence goes according to whether they are English peerages, Scots, or Irish, and the year created.
Nancy, I totally agree with your statements. I imagine that families 200 years ago chose individual preferences at the table when they were just among family and friends.
Even the formal seating arrangements seemed to be different according to which custom was followed. The great chef Antonin Careme served his dishes at the Royal Pavilion, (and in other grand households) a la francaise, which meant that the majority of the dishes were arranged in the middle of the table. People helped themselves from the nearest dish and then offer it to their neighbours.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge on this aspect of Regency etiquette. It’s funny to think how strict they were about these details at the time, and you hardly notice these details as you’re watching the adaptations. Now that you describe the table seating, it makes perfect sense.
There is so much fascinating detail in your article and others’ posts!
I do feel, however, a bit like an anthropolgist studying an ancient civilization! How far we have come in two hundred years; from such proscribed customs and societial rules to drive-through coffee in styrofoam cups and “Happy Meals”, and blue jeans and flip-flops to church…
Will the pendulum ever swing back; what do your readers think??
Unfortunately for us, Jane Austen didn’t write much detail about precedience and other types of Regency etiquette. She didn’t need to describe these things because her readers were her contemporaries, people for whom no explanation would have been necessary. The same applies to the activities of the servants. From our distant perspective, we may be fascinated to find out what the butler’s duties were and who sat where at table, but Austen’s original readers did not need to be told what they already knew.
I agree with your statement, Shannon. What amazes me is how quickly as a society we forget the manners and mores of our great grandparents and those who lived before them.
I suppose I never thought much about this when I watched the BBC adaption of Pride and Prejudice because Mr. Bennett’s two favorite daughters were seated by him, Mrs. Bennett’s two favorite daughters were seated by her, and Mary was just shuffled into the middle there.
I wonder how this worked at family meals where “adopted” children were present.